No Tricks Just Treats

This may come as a surprise to some but I've never really celebrated Halloween. I was raised in a single parent household and we started out Catholic and ended up nondenominational Christians. For several years I attended parochial school then private Christian schools. I guess when my mother realized she was confusing me she then put me in public schools. Yes, it’s just as confusing as it sounds. The last Halloween I can remember celebrating was when I was about 5. My mom and I attended a party which my older cousin decided to scare me. I haven't spoken to her since and I'm 31 now. That's how I roll.  None the less, I'm not sure of if it was the lack of finances to commit to the purchase of the costumes every year or if my mom sincerely believed that Halloween is the devils holiday. 

When I was in elementary school I can remember begging her to let me go trick or treating her response was always no. No costumes, no passing out candy nothing. I always asked every year anyways because I didn't want to be ridiculed by my classmates when the dreaded question: what are you going to be this year came up. My mother would tell me I should be proud to be different and that my religious beliefs were something I should take pride in. I wasn't buying it. Those were her "religious" beliefs and not mine. I was just a kid. In addition to that I was already different most of the time I was the only black kid around. Wasn't that different enough for her? I guess not. My mom wouldn't even let me have Christmas. She insisted on me knowing that the gifts were from her. She was not going to take a back seat to the imaginary Santa Claus when she struggled to make ends meet in order to provide me with Christmas gifts. (I will tell you about that some other time).

In my adult life I guess you can say I'm a Cath/Christian I attend both Mass and Christian services. I enjoy both. I'm a good Catholic girl. (Catholics reading this will get it) I like the speed and to the pointiness of Mass but, I also enjoy the warmth and sense of comradely from Christian churches as I find Mass to be a bit cold sometimes.   

The subject of Halloween has long been stored in my vault of scaring childhood moments until now. This is an issue because I am a parent. My son is turning 2 on the 5th of November so I now have to decide if Halloween is something we will participate in or not. Not to take away from anything my mom did I know she did what her best was with raising me. This is a concept I understand now as a parent. One thing I have decided with my parenting that is different from her style is consistency. I understand that there will be things outside of my control but for the most part I want to be as constant as possible.  This means I have to make a decision on Halloween and stick with it.
 
 Things have changed quite a bit since I was a child and there are safety issues that come with trick or treating. Now days you practically have to get a map out and plan looking at a neighborhood predator alert. Nobody wants to knock on the front door of the dude that just got out of prison for messing with kids making your child a target. Then there is the possibility of being robbed while walking the neighborhoods. I'm just saying. I don’t live in a “bad” area but with people being so desperate is there really a good neighborhood anymore?
 
As a mom I don't want to miss out on the opportunity to embarrass my son by dressing him up as a turd this year. Wouldn't that be ironic? lol! mommytheturdhunter Nor do I want to miss the cuteness of future embarrassing costumes either.

All joking aside today's society has pretty much helped me to make my decision. I will allow my son to dress up every year and we will either go to a friend’s party for kids or to a church event. For now we are going to pass on the door to door. How do you handle Halloween in your house?

Being a Parent Hurts Sometimes

I recently suffered a really intense knee injury at the hands on my toddler. I was bending down in the kitchen when my son ran in and jumped on my back. He caught me totally off guard. I fell forward not wanting him to get hurt we ended up landing on my knee. It was swollen and felt as if something was dislocated but I do not have the luxury of time to go to the hospital or doctor for something as trivial as my knee. It hurt or should I say it hurts. This happened a few weeks ago now and I still feel a little pain. The incident got me thinking, I really need to be careful this dude is dangerous. But, it also made me wonder how many other parents have had injuries from their babies and toddlers?

By far this is not the first injury my son but certainly my worst to date. I've had hair pulled, been bitten off guard while I was walking because my son wanted to try out his little teeth, I've been knocked in the face, head butted and scratched. Okay, the scratching is probably my bad but it's so tough clipping those little nails. One time, I was certain that he had broken my nose from a head-butt.

When my son was a baby he had a biting stage. It was awful! I was a bit scared of him then. This is an abusive relationship at its best. I keep going in for more because I love him. But, I know he's gonna hit me again. With babies and young toddlers we parents are up against flailing arms and legs plus a language barrier. While he was going through the whole "surprise biting thing" In his mind my yells of pain probably seemed like excitement and he needed to do it again. I know what you’re thinking he was just teething and wanted something for the gums. Come on now, don't you think I thought of that? This kid wanted flesh! I asked in forums and looked around for help with the biting but everyone treated it as if they NEVER had a problem like that with THEIR baby. Whatever!

Frequently, people talk about the financial, emotional or mental strain of parenting. What about the physical? After searching on the internet for a while I hit paydirt. I found  Mothering.com in the forum post it has a few parents sharing their stories on their injuries. In the words of rapper Ludacris "guard your grill".  Sometimes it hurts being a parent but it's just part of the job. I love being a mommy and my son is amazing! Every injury large or small is worth it and this stage will pass. I just wish it would hurry up a bit.

Dinner with a Toddler Heckler

I think most of us have encountered a toddler heckler at some point. Instead of shouting obstinacies these little people are sharing greetings and smiles. I’ve seen them out before even before I had a child. A joyful toddler calling me over and it never bothered me. I’ve even been touched by children before and although it was surprising. I wasn’t annoyed by it.  On my previous encounters with toddler hecklers I’ve seen he looks of frustration on the parents face because apparently they have been at it all day greeting, calling and playing with complete strangers. Now it’s me with the little heckler. When we are out at dinner or really most places not a person gets past him without him telling them HI! Not a thing gets brought to the table without him telling the waitress or waiter “Thank You” loudly. He attracts a lot of attention and calls people over to the table giving hi fives and all. Now, I’m the one with the dumb look on my face because I can’t really stop him. At 22 months he really knows how to work a room. Maybe politicians are born and not made. He is usually on fire toddler heckling at restaurants. I think his goal is to attract as many people as possible over to the table. I’m sure this is a phase and he will grow out of it at some point. I would be more urgent in trying to stop him from doing this because I’m really uncomfortable with strangers being around him and he truly does cause a scene.  I can’t help but be proud of the smiles he gets. The people that his little heckler greetings obviously made their day. I’m not sure if we get any dirty looks. I wouldn’t really notice anyways he’s not screaming and crying he just wants to say hello.  Here is a little video from him toddler heckling at dinner the other night.