Santa Can You Take This SH%! Back!

Christmas is over and done although, you wouldn't know it from looking around my house. Leave me alone! I've been busy. This year my tot was 2 by the time Christmas rolled around. I was extremely excited because this would be the first year he was really going to be interactive with opening presents. He was good at it. Really good and it was just as exciting as I’d imagined to watch. Apparently, in another life he was a professional present opener. Who would have thought?

Before becoming a parent I was guilty of making gift purchases for friends’ kids and chuckling to myself in the store knowing the parent would have a fun time cleaning up the mess. Now I know that was not funny. I'm apologizing for all the drums, 200 ball sets and many other annoying present I've ever been enough of an asshole to give your child in the past. Sometimes, the bad seed toy is not a gift from another person. You the parent end up creating the good toy gone bad situation for yourself.

The first week after Christmas you can already see which toys are going to be a problem. By the second week your nerves and sanity have become endangered by the problem toy. I have also come to realize that I have a love hate relationship with toys in general. I love buying them for my son because I'm always excited about us playing together with the toy. This usually ends up with my tot playing and me being allowed to watch. He is an only child and his sharing skills are poor to say the least. I hate them because they almost ALWAYS involve a huge mess and just as often are used for some other purpose not included in the manufacturers instructions. The box said nothing at all about my tot hitting me in the head with this thing is usually what I end up thinking. Obviously, the visions of creativity inspiring toys and my 2 year old tots are not on the same page.

The problem purchase this year would be an easel. When I saw this easel online I just knew this was going to be a big it. I envisioned my son creating great masterpieces. I rushed out to get the supplies which included: new crayons, art paper, chalk, markers, and paint. I knew that these supplies would need to be guarded closely. My son enjoys drawing but if possible he also likes to eat his artwork when finished. I was aware of those dangers but I never would have imagined this precious gift from Santa would be a ladder to badness instead of a path to creativity.

My son loves the easel. Just not to draw and it did in fact inspire creativity in the form of him discovering that he can drag this damn easel or the stool that came with it around the house to get into everything he's not normally tall enough to get into. Great! Just freakin Great! He can also carry the stool upstairs and do the same. I hate the easel and I’m about to drop kick it out the door any day with the stool! I’m in the process of trying to figure out if Santa has a return policy if things just don't work out with a toy.

 The Culprit

Has your child ever gotten a toy that ended up annoying you?