Mommy the Turd Hunter

Let's start this post off by saying POTTY TRAINING! Okay, now that I've got that out of my system we can move on. The other day I said that I was quitting with the potty training until Trey turns 2. His birthday is the 5th of November. That's a little time for us to have a break with the whole business and get back into it on a fresh note. My floors and I (the cleaning lady) have had ENOUGH with the pee and poop everywhere. It was just getting out of hand. The next day, I woke up and thought we would give it another try. The choice to try again resulted in me getting my foot peed on and hunting a turd for the better part of the day. Being a mommy has me doing tons of things I never thought I would and not to mention while searching for the turd I was wondering to myself if I really even had any dignity at all left lol! I'd like to take a moment to address all the people who have given advice and tips for potty training. Thank you for nothing! I've tried about 75% of those tips and none of that shit has worked. I have come to the conclusion that potty training is a lot like giving birth and no two experiences are the same. With that being said, Potty Training has been discontinued until further notice. This boy is just not ready yet! Signs that's he's ready my ass! My son is obviously not ready. The moral of this post 1) Quit when you say you are so you won't get your foot peed on 2) There are no egos in potty training.

I Potty Mommy

 My potty training experience has been difficult so far to say the least. It has involved many a triumph but equally as many failures. My toddler is now 21 months. I wonder if I’m trying to early but according to the books he’s giving me the signs. At the moment we are in a bit of a let’s just say an awkward period. My son does not like to use the potty or wear a diaper hence my problem. My little streakier brings me all type of treasure including poop. The other day he even popped while wearing a diaper and crouched behind the potty while holding on to the top to support him while he squatted down and did business. I know there's a lot of while's in that but seriously there was just no other way to describe that scenario. This blog was originally titled. Alone stood the potty but as of right now the potty’s not so much alone right now. The situation has changed a bit the potty now has the company of a little liar. Let me explain, my toddler knows that everyone gets excited when he uses the potty. So, now days he is taking his diaper off to go sit on the potty. Then, after a few moments he says, “I potty “which I fall for every time (call me a sucker) I start cheering for him and saying, “YAY” only to discover that the potty is totally empty EVERYTIME! If I don’t make it over quite in time to see that there is nothing in there. I’m made aware by my little toddler picking up the potty slinging it around which of course would have wasted pee out if there was actually anything in there.  The first few times he did this I was shocked. Then I thought well maybe he thought he had to. But when he did actually have to pee he did it on the kitchen floor and NOT in the potty and mind you he didn’t say a word. I’m still wondering if I scared him the last time he actually used the potty. I was so excited that I scared the crap outta him or back in. Either way he hasn’t used the potty since. My son has managed a way to trick me into giving him the potty claps with his little innocent lie. I was going to let it go after I realized what he was doing because I thought it would get him excited about it and really make him want to be a potty user.  After two days of playing potty he took it too far. His dad was over and when he came in the door Trey runs over and said, “I potty daddy”. I had to do a double take. So, he’s decided to really roll with this whole potty lie huh? He’s gonna take this whole I potty thing on the road huh? Not on my watch. I informed everyone including him that it was not true and that if he wanted to be a I potty story teller he was going to have to actually USE the potty. He’s so cute and I’m still running over for the boy who cried potty.  No new progress as of yet. He still isn’t using it only lies. I hope this change soon. I just don’t want to be handed another turd. Don’t ask! Lol!

 The little potty liar