10 October 2011

No Tricks Just Treats


This may come as a surprise to some but I've never really celebrated Halloween. I was raised in a single parent household and we started out Catholic and ended up nondenominational Christians. For several years I attended parochial school then private Christian schools. I guess when my mother realized she was confusing me she then put me in public schools. Yes, it’s just as confusing as it sounds. The last Halloween I can remember celebrating was when I was about 5. My mom and I attended a party which my older cousin decided to scare me. I haven't spoken to her since and I'm 31 now. That's how I roll.  None the less, I'm not sure of if it was the lack of finances to commit to the purchase of the costumes every year or if my mom sincerely believed that Halloween is the devils holiday. 

When I was in elementary school I can remember begging her to let me go trick or treating her response was always no. No costumes, no passing out candy nothing. I always asked every year anyways because I didn't want to be ridiculed by my classmates when the dreaded question: what are you going to be this year came up. My mother would tell me I should be proud to be different and that my religious beliefs were something I should take pride in. I wasn't buying it. Those were her "religious" beliefs and not mine. I was just a kid. In addition to that I was already different most of the time I was the only black kid around. Wasn't that different enough for her? I guess not. My mom wouldn't even let me have Christmas. She insisted on me knowing that the gifts were from her. She was not going to take a back seat to the imaginary Santa Claus when she struggled to make ends meet in order to provide me with Christmas gifts. (I will tell you about that some other time).

In my adult life I guess you can say I'm a Cath/Christian I attend both Mass and Christian services. I enjoy both. I'm a good Catholic girl. (Catholics reading this will get it) I like the speed and to the pointiness of Mass but, I also enjoy the warmth and sense of comradely from Christian churches as I find Mass to be a bit cold sometimes.   

The subject of Halloween has long been stored in my vault of scaring childhood moments until now. This is an issue because I am a parent. My son is turning 2 on the 5th of November so I now have to decide if Halloween is something we will participate in or not. Not to take away from anything my mom did I know she did what her best was with raising me. This is a concept I understand now as a parent. One thing I have decided with my parenting that is different from her style is consistency. I understand that there will be things outside of my control but for the most part I want to be as constant as possible.  This means I have to make a decision on Halloween and stick with it.

 Things have changed quite a bit since I was a child and there are safety issues that come with trick or treating. Now days you practically have to get a map out and plan looking at a neighborhood predator alert. Nobody wants to knock on the front door of the dude that just got out of prison for messing with kids making your child a target. Then there is the possibility of being robbed while walking the neighborhoods. I'm just saying. I don’t live in a “bad” area but with people being so desperate is there really a good neighborhood anymore?

As a mom I don't want to miss out on the opportunity to embarrass my son by dressing him up as a turd this year. Wouldn't that be ironic? lol! mommytheturdhunter Nor do I want to miss the cuteness of future embarrassing costumes either.

All joking aside today's society has pretty much helped me to make my decision. I will allow my son to dress up every year and we will either go to a friend’s party for kids or to a church event. For now we are going to pass on the door to door. How do you handle Halloween in your house?

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