07 December 2011

WHAT Did You Just Say?


Caution this post contains an extreme parenting fail. If anything about this post offends you because you are so so perfect please feel free to read the post (including this disclaimer) again in order to re-offend yourself. As always thanks for stopping by. 

It would be fair to say that I have a bit of a potty mouth. Sure, I'm working on it but this is a long process in the making. There is a history of fowl mouthed women in my family on my mother’s side so technically it's probably not my fault. Right? Yeah.... just going to go with that. I'm professional enough but at home sometimes there is nowhere to hide and words just flow. The sole reason for me needing to work on this potty mouth is my 2 year old toddler. Toddler cursing is not cute and doesn't go off well in social setting.

Since turning 2 my tots vocabulary is huge and he's a bit of a Pete Repeat. I had my son right before I turned 30. I'm an old dog learning a whole new trick with this parenting thing. I'm excited that he has survived and I haven't broken him. As a formally self-absorbed person I had no clue what I was going to do when I brought him home from the hospital. I even asked to stay an extra day. Surprisingly enough instinct kicked in and I've been working on auto pilot ever since. Parenting can't always be predictable or perfect. Having an type A personality it's a struggle for me knowing it can't be perfect. Better yet the fact that I'm not going to be perfect at it. Feel sorry for me.

Does the fact that I sometimes curse at home make me a bad person? Possibly. Am I safe for kids? Sure. Problem is my kid lives with me so when we are at home from time to time the shit is going to fly.

My mom and my tot were sitting in the living room. I was in the kitchen. A toy got dropped and I heard my tot say something but with me being so far away I really couldn't hear him. Partially because I was so far away and partially because my tot kind of whispered whatever he said. My mom said, "I was going to say that but you said it for me" to my tot. I asked her what he said and she replied "oh nothing." I left it at that.

This weekend my tot had a deck of playing cards that he had successfully stolen out of my drawer (never know when a spades game could pop off). My tot is NOT allowed to have cards because he is a habitual paper eating offender and will make a proper snack out of a deck of cards. I was right there by him when he went for the cards. As I was going to take from him he tried to run away and they all dropped. My tot immediately said "shit" as he dashed to try and pick a few up before me. Huge #mommyfail

Not only can my newly 2 year old toddler son say his alphabets and count to ten but he has also picked up the proper use of the word shit. Thanks to me. I told him that was a bad word and he should not say it, of course he's 2 so he doesn't understand. Since the "shit" incident he has dropped the s bomb a few other times when things didn't go quite his way. I have seen the error of my fowl mouthed ways and have made a conscious effort NOT to curse or even think curse words around my toddler. There are times when I want to spell the words out but I'm too scared to even do that. My tot has been watching your baby can read since 4 months old. I'm not quite sure if my baby can read but I do know my baby can say shit. Great! Merry Christmas!


  • December 10, 2011 at 9:17 AM
    Anonymous says:

    Got here from tweet by @RachelintheOC.

    Be thankful that he drops his s bombs in context. That is what they exist for, to put an exclamation on things. When used for no apparent reason is when it is disturbing.

    I coach soccer at numerous pre-shools in Kansas City, MO, everyday. Yes this occupation exists and, yes it is awesome.

    I'll share two stories to illustrate the horror of toddlers cussin out of context. (Real names are used to expose the guilty)

    Ethan, 3, looked me in the face last week and said, "So I can't say bullshit!" after I had gone through the pregames rules, being nice, no hitting etc.

    Last week while leaving a class with 7 three year olds, I told Molly, 4, who was last in line to shut the door.
    "Huh," she replied, as she hadn't heard me.
    I was about to repeat myself when in jumps Carter, 4, with, "He said shut the fucking door!"
    He, like Ethan in the previous story, immediately lost his privilege to play soccer and also ended in tears after a tongue lashing from his teachers.

    In context, bad but understandable. Out of context, absolutely horrifying and inexcusable.

    So, there is no " extreme fail" in your parenting...yet.

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